Food cycle

FOOD is an ever-present part of our culture. Where else in the world do people have five meals a day in the workplace? Snacks between breakfast and lunch and right before going home for the day for those who work in the office are served at the office canteen. So, if the etiquette of waiting for your turn can use a paradigm, why not go for a foodie application?

The Chinese Lauriat is a big improvement over the traditional buffet table in terms of queuing. There’s no falling in line. The food is delivered in sequence to the table for 10 or 12 as the seated guests wait for their turn at the wheel. It is the food that moves as the diners stay stationary and seated. They are not allowed to stand and reach for a dish, out of their turn.

The circular revolving tray on top of the table is called a Lazy Susan. Who was Susan? Was she even Chinese?

At a table of strangers with no hierarchy like a wedding party, the first stop is random. The person (usually the oldest lady) nearest the spot where the waiter sets down the dish gets the first serve. She then turns the rotating platform clockwise towards the person to her left. An acceptable exception occurs when the first taker gives a helping to her seatmate on the right, who may be related.

The waiter’s own random setting of the subsequent offerings can change the sequence, especially when the rotating tray is getting filled up. Thus, the first serve can change with every new dish, depending on the available space and where the contraption has stopped. No music accompanies these stops and starts.

Rare offerings like crabs with semi-broken shells or whole grilled prawns may disrupt the flow of the table. Grabbers are known to jump the queue by reaching out to the crab claws two seats away. It is considered rude to take more than one piece of such prized items if one is the first served. Second helpings can follow less sequential stops after everyone has already taken a turn.

When a VIP (someone ushered by the host to his seat) is at the table, the sequence does not follow the waiter’s serving caprices. The table leader (usually the host or a designated proxy) twirls the platform so the new dish stops in front of the VIP who is invited to take the first helping.

Before a guest turns the Lazy Susan towards himself, he must ensure that no diner is currently digging into a dish. An inconsiderate turning of the tray while another person across the table is transferring noodles to her plate can cause “noodle confetti,” an unwelcome food splatter, staining the shirts and blouses of two or more diners. Add to this interruption the possibility of knocking down drinking glasses and serving spoons and you have the equivalent of an embarrassing “tripping of an elderly man with a walking stick” situation.

The anxiety level increases when the number of dishes is lower than the number of guests at the table. Thus, with 10 seats to a table, the number of dishes must equal if not exceed that number. The unfavorable ratio of dishes-to-diners can shorten the attention span of those waiting their turn, especially when a ravenous boor is twirling away with wild abandon.

One used to solo meals or sit-down plated dinners lack the coping skills for a food cycle. He takes his time in the roulette of the shared meal and then loses his turn to another while chatting up his neighbor, ending up with near empty plates before him.

Unfortunately, there is no referee with a whistle to impose proper rules of behavior for the Lazy Susan. The aggressive poacher is free to turn the table towards himself at any time, especially when all the dishes have been laid out.

These social aggressors ignore baleful looks in their direction — that was a tasty, steamed fish, but a bit too small. The picked bones and head with full cheeks continue their circular trip — as the conversation dies down.

The cake in the last portion of the meal is not part of the rotating show as the servers distribute the pieces to each guest who may not be too keen to eat outside the food cycle.

Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda

ar.samson@yahoo.com